Wednesday, March 02, 2011

AI10 Top 12 Guys - Better Heard Than Seen

It's bad enough that the American Idol judges/producers have given us a Top 24 with very little eye candy amongst the guys. But to give us a bunch of guys who make it difficult for me to watch when they sing? NOT COOL.

This has nothing to do with physical attractiveness but everything to do with how they presented themselves on stage. Let's take Stefano Langone for a second. He's supposed to be the cute one, I suppose, this year? Well, maybe when he doesn't sing. Because he's an ugly singer. All squinty eyes and weird faces. James Durbin - stop with the rawk poses. Paul McDonald, you're not exempt either, with your staggering around the stage like a drunk wedding singer. Then there's Casey Abrams, who looked so angry while he was singing/growling, like he was going to eat the head of the microphone and then throw the rest of it at the audience. And I'll spare you this week from another diatribe about Clint Jun Gamboa's glasses. If we're looking for someone who is the total package, I'm not really seeing it yet from these guys.

Clint Jun Gamboa - "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder
The one saving grace for me with this guy is his voice, but he was kind of a screeching mess for me. Also, that song choice was so uninspired. Meh.
Score: 6.0

Jovany Barreto - "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain
Talk about uninspired song choices! This song was openly mocked on Idol years ago as being overdone by people. Jovany actually sang it well enough from a vocal standpoint, but it's such a trite song that it is just a big cheesefest, especially coming from Mr. Meathead who "thought he had Randy sewed up" as a fellow Baton Rouge guy (lol DUDE. Take that ego back to Louisiana and the ship-yahd, mmkay?)
Score: 5.5

Jordan Dorsey - "OMG" by Usher
LOLOLOLOLOL I haven't had a laugh like this on the show since Chicken Little sang "Part Time Lover" in Season 5. Between Jordan trying to sing a song that is so auto-tuned that there isn't that much of a melody in it, the horrific-ness of the backup singers, his lulzy end pose, and Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson just sitting there all "Ohhhh-kay den" at the end while Jennifer Lopez politely applauded, I was howling with laughter. Thanks, Jordan! Good times, good times!
Score: 3.0

Tim Halperin - "Streetcorner Symphony" by Rob Thomas
Sigh. I do see Tim as a Rob Thomas kind of singer, but this song was SOOOOO not the right song for him. This whole performance was kind of cheesy and bar band-ish. And he did a pointy-pose at the end! Oh lawd. I was about ready to jump on the Tim bandwagon after his Beatles duet with Julie Zorrilla, but good heavens, that was like three steps backwards with this song.
Score: 5.0

Brett Loewenstern - "Light My Fire" by The Doors
While I think Brett is a sweet kid (lol at him running back to Seacrest, hugging him and saying "I love you!"), I am having such a hard time seeing him outside of this competition out in the real world. It's all so cabaret. I know he gets compared a lot to the Simply Red guy with those locks, but after watching this performance, I think he's more like a redhead Taylor Swift. The prancing! The coquettish looks over the shoulder! The hairography! All that's missing are some cowboy boots and that awkward stance. Maybe next week.
Score: 6.0

James Durbin - "You Got Another Thing Coming" by Judas Priest
Well I don't think I ever thought I'd see a Judas Priest song done on Idol. This sounded like a recipe for disaster for me personally, since I don't like metal and I don't like Durbin. But ... I ... kind of liked it. GASP! Durbin's screeching fit more with this song. But again, it was one of those performances that was better heard than seen. The rock horns? The windmill arms? The rawk jump? LOL. Poseur.
Score: 7.25

Robbie Rosen - "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan
Oh dear. I thought this kid had some promise, but anyone who can re-arrange this song to make it even MORE boring even with a faster tempo needs to be stopped. The high notes on the last line were all kinds of wrong too.
Score: 5.25

Scotty McCreery - "Letters From Home" by John Michael Montgomery
I'm not a big fan of Scotty's type of country music, but he really does his thing well. Baby Lock Them Doors is still a bit one-trick-pony to me, but he's really good at his one trick. I thought he gave one the best performances of the night. It's weird to look at him sing because he sounds like a 40 year-old man trapped in Alfred E. Neuman's body with Clay Aiken's singing mannerisms.
Score: 7.25

Stefano Langone - "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars
I'm just not a fan of his singing style. It's SO staccato at times. And J.Lo, don't think we didn't all see you wince when Stefano tried to hit that super-high note!
Score: 5.75

Paul McDonald - "Maggie May" by Rod Stewart
I talked earlier about his staggering around the stage. And I kept going back to Simon Cowell's critique to Taylor Hicks where he likened him to a drunk uncle at a wedding. And then Randy went on about how Paul is quirky and different from anyone they've ever had on the show. But he's like Taylor except younger, hipper, and more attractive. And without the SOUL PATROL! WOOOO! type of self-promotion. He's totes gonna win.
Score: 7.0

Jacob Lusk - "A House Is Not A Home" by Luther Vandross
Yes, Jacob can sing. And he has incredible range. But I felt absolutely NOTHING with this song. It's like he was singing to show off. Tamyra Gray sang this song on the first season of Idol, and you could feel every ounce of emotion coming through in her singing. I didn't get any sense of heartache from Jacob. All I got was "LOOK AT ME!" with the way the was looking at the camera and the judges.
Score: 6.75

Casey Abrams -"I Put A Spell On You" by Screamin' Jay Hawkins
That was a very ominous performance of that song. It was like restraining order levels of creepy. There was just a little too much shouting and growling. And now I'm slightly afraid of this kid.
Score: 6.75

The Judges
I think Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez were having Ellen syndrome wherein they seemed like they didn't want to give bad critiques. I mean, it's nice that they're being positive, but calling crappy performances "beautiful" when it sounded like ass does nobody any favors. Randy Jackson was the voice of reason tonight. RANDY JACKSON! WTAF?!
Score: 5.0 (Randy saved their asses here. smh)

I guess 5 are making it through the vote, with maybe 1 other being chosen as a Wild Card. I think James, Jacob, Casey, Paul and Scotty are your five, with either Robbie, Brett or Clint as the Wild Card.

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