Thursday, March 17, 2011
AI10 Top 12: Crappy Songs From The Year You Were Born
Naima Adedapo - What's Love Got to Do With It by Tina Turner (1984)
Naima was SO pitchy throughout this performance, and she can't pin it on her dancing. In a pleasantly surprising move, Jennifer Lopez finally decided to judge and called her out on it.
Paul McDonald - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues by Elton John (1984)
Watching the recap at the end of the show, I wasn't as put off by it as I was when I watched initially. But it really bugs me that Paul sings every song like he's at Mardi Gras, despite the lyrical content. With his cheshire cat grin and drunken staggering on stage, I wonder where these blues are that he is singing about.
Thia Megia - Colors Of The Wind by Vanessa Williams (1995)
Thia sang a ballad from Disney's Pocahontas while wearing a Pocahontas-colored dress. Oh lord. And she either butchered or totally mumbled the lyrics twice. She has a very nice voice, but she's boring me with it with the songs she chooses to sing, and Randy Jackson totally called her out on her weekly ballad choices.
James Durbin - I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi (1989)
I take back anything I said last week about how melodic James is after this week's performance. The phrasing was weird, the singing was mediocre and unmelodic, the posing was back. MEH.
Haley Reinhart - I'm Your Baby Tonight by Whitney Houston (1990)
Randy's right - Haley has no idea what kind of singer she is. The one thing she has is a distinctive voice, but it's not a good distinctive, as far as I'm concerned. Unless growly cartoony is the new good.
Stefano Langone - If You Don’t Know Me By Now by Simply Red (1989)
The performance of the night, but on a night like this, that doesn't say much. And he should have quit while he was ahead on that last note.
Pia Toscano - Where Do Broken Hearts Go by Whitney Houston (1988)
I blame Rodney Jerkins for this mess. Pia sounded great, but Rodney threw in a half-assed dance beat into the song, which might have been kind of cool if they had gone all out on it. But it was such a sleepy beat that it made Pia sound like she was on a cruise ship. So this didn't really help her growing reputation of only singing boring ballads.
Scotty McCreery - Can I Trust You With My Heart by Travis Tritt (1993)
I may as well just keep this line saved to my clipboard so I can copy and paste it next week: Scotty is very good at what he does. I'm not a big fan of this type of country, but he's definitely doing something right. When he starts picking more familiar songs in his wheelhouse, he'll be unstoppable. He might already BE unstoppable.
Karen Rodriguez - Love Will Lead You Back by Taylor Dayne (1989)
Karen's huge updo made me think that she originally chose the B-52's Love Shack and then forgot to tell the hair department that she switched to Taylor Dayne. She probably should've actually chosen Love Shack instead, because this snoozy song is an Idol killer. Just ask Mikalah Gordon and Carmen Rasmusen, who were both eliminated the week they sang it. Adios, Karen!
Casey Abrams: - Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana (1991)
If you're going to do Nirvana on Idol, you best do Nirvana in a way that isn't supposed to sound like Nirvana. Strip it down, put a different arrangement to it. Anything but try to sing it straight up. You're never going to be Kurt Cobain, so don't even try. You'd think that Casey would have put some jazz spin to it, but it was just a garage band performance. And since I've given Thia, Pia and Karen crap for singing nothing but ballads, I'm going to give Casey crap for growling angrily through all of his songs on the big stage while looking like he's going to eat someone alive.
Lauren Alaina - I'm The Only One by Melissa Etheridge (1994)
I knew they would all play up the "Lauren is back" meme. Good lord, it's not like she was so awful last week or got such awful criticism! She's been pretty consistent all year - but not on a Kelly Clarkson level. As several people have said, she's more like Kimberly Caldwell than Kelly Clarkson. I thought this was one of the better performances of the night, and hey, kudos to her for going uptempo. None of the other girls can seem to. But she really should stop talking. Especially to "Peaches".
Jacob Lusk - Alone by Heart (1987)
Jacob goes out of his comfort zone ... only to stay in his comfort zone of oversinging a song and beating it into a bloody pulp. NO.