Wednesday, February 09, 2011

San Francisco Sob Stories

American Idol (FINALLY) wrapped up the Season 10 audition episodes tonight, and they hit the jackpot with regards to the "inspirational" stories. Dead father, diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, bullied in high school, unemployed, no money. And that's just from one guy.

Here's the dish on James Durbin : His dad was a musician and always away, so James didn't get to know him very well before he died of a drug overdose. You'd think that would be enough sob story for Idol. HALE no. James was on medication for a sleep disorder! He has Tourette's! He has Asperger's! He was bullied! Now he's a dad! But he has no job! They can't afford diapers!

Seriously, Idol? We need to know all of this before he even sings a note? Oh excuse me, wrong choice of words. That should be shouted, not sang. Because that's what he did. He shouted at my television a couple of rock songs, including "Dream On". You know the producers and judges were thinking "next Glambert", but please. I know Adam Lambert (not personally, but you know what I mean), and, Rooster-Hair boy, you are no Adam Lambert.

You'd think that Durbin's drama would have been enough for one night, but prior to his segment at the end of the show, we had three other made-for-TV-movie types of storylines!

First, there was Stefano Langone ("I Heard It Through The Grapevine"). He was in an accident! He has scars! The judges think he's a star! (I don't!)

Julie Zorrilla's parents fled Colombia to come to the U.S.! Her parents have thick accents that require subtitles for their English! (OMG, Idol, STOP THIS! They didn't need subtitles, and neither did Allison Iraheta's dad!) Julie didn't need the backstory; she has a really pretty voice and sang "Summertime" very well. (She also doesn't need the early proclamations of "best voice we ever heard ever" by Steven Tyler and "Winner? Maybe!" by Jennifer Lopez. Too early for this, guys!)

Emily Anne Reed's house burned down! She lost the first home she was excited to live in! She's going to build a better life now with a music career through American Idol! She sang "You're Getting To Be A Habit With Me" in a very unique, old-style sound, and she barely got through to Hollywood. I don't see her getting very far. Her sound is too niche for this show. Plus, she picked up the guitar and played after her audition. Rut-roh. TPTB don't like that this year!

A group of three managed to get through to Hollywood without any story. Or ANY story. All we got were short clips of Brittany Mazur ("Mercy"), Lara Johnston (Stevie Wonder's "All I Do") and Matthew Nuss (Guy Sebastian's "Taller, Stronger, Better") singing. Lara was the standout for me in this group. There was another group of girls who got through later in the show, and not only did they not have a sob story, but they apparently didn't have names either! Hello, cannon-fodders!

Also getting by with no sob story was karaoke host Clint Jun Gamboa . Clint sang "Billionaire" pretty well, but there's something about him that screams Andrew Garcia to me, and I ... can't.

I suppose I should just be grateful that another auditioner who reminded me of a former contestant did not make it through. The Ukrainian girl at the top of the show, Inessa Lee, had Tatiana Del Toro's crazy written all over her, but with about half of Tatiana's voice. Inessa went on about how she was like a mix of Shakira, early Madonna, Kylie Minogue, and Katy Perry. And then proceeded to audition with ... an Air Supply song. So relieved the judges didn't indulge her the way the Season 8 judges did with Tatiana in letting her get all the way to the wildcard show. She got cut right away.

So finally tomorrow we get the start of the Hollywood rounds. Hopefully the judges are able to weed out the marginal contestants they really should not have let through in the first place (Hollie Cavanagh and Emma Henry, I'm looking at you!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I actually thought Durbin was at least as good as Lambert, but I'm not really into the scream/singing. That's just me, though, and I don't mean this comment as a putdown to either guy.