The Los Angeles auditions of American Idol 9 brought us guest judges Avril Lavigne and Katy Perry, some over the top sob stories, Crying Girl, a bunch of lousy auditions, a group of guys who were labeled Adam Lambert wannabes that included Jason Castro's brother and one of Adam's friends, and one hell of a one-liner from Katy Perry to Kara DioGuardi that pretty much salvaged this episode.
A total of 27 gold tickets were given out in Los Angeles, and we only saw five. Lovely. Instead, we get a segment about people jackin' Adam Lambert's style at the auditions. First of all, Adam's look isn't totally original. Second of all, Adam's friend Cassidy Haley and Jason Castro's brother Michael, who were both shown in this segment, are most definitely not trying to be Adam. We also get Crying Girl Ashley Ferl doing what she is most known for - crying after being cut.
Two of the five successful auditions that were actually shown got the major sob story edit, and I'm pretty much over it and having adverse reactions to them when they go even slightly over the top. Katy Perry seems to be sick of them as well. While Kara went on and on about Justin Guarini hair-alike Chris Golightly having a great story (he's a foster child) and gushing over him like he was going to win the competition, you could feel Katy's eyes rolling to the back of her head. I know mine were. Chris has a pretty good voice, but it most definitely did not blow me away, KARA. Katy's response to her was A++++: "This is not a Lifetime movie, sweetie." OH SNAP! And ILU, Katy Perry! Please replace Simon next year so that we have someone to put Kara in her place! (and to also keep you too busy to record. Ahem.)
The other Lifetime movie edit went to Andrew Garcia, whose dad was in Hispanic gangs and didn't want his son to go down the same path. Papa Garcia weeped during his interview. Bonus points for Andrew! So Andrew auditioned in Kris Allen attire (a plaid shirt that looks like Kris' favorite plaid shirt and a newsboy cap that looks like the one Kris wore to his first audition) with Danny Gokey glasses and some Matt Giraud-like soul. I am very confused by this. Andrew did some really cool things with his song, but the Kris/Danny/Matt thing is trippin' me out.
Jim Ranger has a little Kris Allen profile going as well. He's married and is a church leader. He is also originally from Arkansas (Little Rock), says Cale Mills on twitter. Cale's former band performed with Jim in shows back in Arkansas. Jim also had a judge be all "concerned" about his marital status and personal life, which is utterly ridiculous. Seriously, Avril?? Don't front and use a stupid-ass excuse about not thinking he can do all of that plus Idol. First of all, it's just a ticket to Hollywood. Not a golden invitation to be in the Top 12. Second of all, hi, your reigning American Idol was a married worship leader. He handled all of that just fine. Just tell him you don't think he'll make it because his image isn't good enough. You might be called a bitch for saying it, but at least you'll be an honest bitch.
The only other two highlighted Hollywood-bound contestants tonight were Mary Powers and Tasha Layton. Mary is a rock mom to an 8 year-old girl who loves Simon Cowell. She may not anymore after Simon called her mom "cliched". Simon was dead-on, though. Tasha sang a Joss Stone song and reminded me of Ryan Starr without the skank. I dunno. I'm just not seeing either of them being big factors on this show.
Jim Ranger, 27 (Bakersfield, CA) - "Drive" by Jim Ranger
Mary Powers, 28 (Burbank, CA) - "Love Is A Battlefield" by Pat Benatar
Andrew Garcia, 23 (Moreno Valley, CA) - "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5
Tasha Layton, 26 (Granada Hills, CA) - "Baby Baby Baby" by Joss Stone
Chris Golightly, 25 (Los Angeles, CA) - "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King
Neil Goldstein - "Rock And Roll Dreams Come True" by Meatloaf
*He's totally putting on a show with this intro. So fake. That became obvious when he "ironically" forgot the lyrics after singing "Remember everything that I told you."
Jayson Wilson - "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen
Jesse Chang - "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas
Martin Perez - "So What" by Pink
Damien Lefavor - "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" by The Righteous Brothers
A.J. Mendoza - "Cult Of Personality" by Living Colour
*He claims he sent Adam Lambert a demo and that Adam "had nothing but fantastic things to say" about his voice. Um, Adam either has crappy taste, is too nice to say otherwise or A.J. is totally lying.
Austin Fullmer - "Surrender" by Cheap Trick
Jason Green - "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls
Welcome to Los Angeles - "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha
Avril Lavigne intro - "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne
Mary Powers gold ticket - "Call Me" by Blondie
Adam Lambert montage - "We Are The Champions" by Queen (sung by Adam)
Katy Perry Intro - "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry
Helicopter entrance - A-Team theme
Rejection montage - "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick
Andrew Garcia gold ticket - "Life After You" by Daughtry
Tasha Layton gold ticket - "Oh Happy Day"
Katy/Kara fight montage - "Hot And Cold" by Katy Perry
Chris Golightly gold ticket - "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus